Monday, January 30, 2012
Petua: Susu Pekat Manis Bila Terkena Air Mendidih
Zaman remaja dulu, peha kananku sampai ke betis pernah melecur kerana kena air panas mendidih. Ini kerana menolong tok sedara mengangkat kukusan daripada atas dapor kayu dan terangkat sekali dengan airnya dan tercurah ke bahagian peha dan betis. Panasnya tuhan saja yang tahu. Peha dan betis merah menyala macam udang kena bakar. Nasib masa tu tok sedara cepat-cepat mengeluarkan dua tin susu pekat manis yang berada dalam peti ais dan melumurkan ke seluruh peha dan betis. Nyatalah kesejukan susu daripada peti ais, menyejukkan kesan air panas pada peha. (selepas sejam, barulah dibasuh) Alhamdulillah sampai sekarang tidak ada langsung kesan parut. Inilah petua kepada sesiapa yg terkena air panas, minyak panas atau sterika...TQ Allah
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Akhiri Dengan Indah, Biarlah Masa Menjadi PengubatNya
Tidak ada hubungan yang sempurna, namun jika tiba masanya tiada lagi rasa kasih sayang, hormat-menghormati, kejujuran dan jauh daripada menuju jalan Allah, maka perpisahan tidak dapat dielakkan lagi.
Jika diteruskan juga nanti ia menjadi satu perhubungan yang 'meloyakan' kerana ada rasa masin, pahit, kelat dan sememangnya tidak sihat untuk mereka yang mendambakan jiwa yang tenang, damai dan tenteram dan bahagia. Biarlah hubungan itu ditamatkan secara terhormat dengan persetujuan bersama dan dengan penuh rasa persahabatan dan persaudaraan. Akhiri dengan indah ...tiada rasa dendam dan benci. Bina kebahagiaan daripada kesilapan semalam dan biarlah masa menjadi pengubat dan penawarnya.
Moga berbahagialah mereka yang menemui cinta sejati sehingga ke syurga.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Ombak Rindu Versi Taubat
Suka dengan lagu ini dan what a nice surprise ada lirik taubat yang menyentuh hati...
Lagu ini khas buatmu teman-teman tersayang dan pelawat-pelawat yang datang bertandang ke blogku.
Jangan lupa datang berkunjung lagi ya...
salam hangat,
mckelate
Monday, January 23, 2012
Sedetik Lebih (Buat Dirimu yg sangat istimewa dalam hidupku)
Lagu ini khas buatmu yg istimewa dalam hidupku Muhammad Fadly... Love u forever...
Aku selalu memikirkanmu
Dalam sedar dibuai angan
Dalam tidur dan khayalan
Aku selalu memikirkanmu
Ternyata ku perlukan cinta dari dirimu sayang
Barulah terasa ku bernyawa
Kasihku ku amat mencintai kamu
Kerana kau beri erti hidup
Ku kan terus mencinta sedetik lebih selepas selamanya
Di kala penuh ketakutan dengan badai kehidupan
Ku bersyukur adanya kamu
Biarlah kehilangan semua yang dimiliki di dunia
Asal masih adanya kamu
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Our Gifted Siti Nurhaliza
Terima kasih Siti Nurhaliza kerana mewarnai hidup kita dengan lagu-lagu merdunya. Masih terkenang kenangan manis Lagu Jerat Percintaan , lagu pertamanya yang banyak membawa kenangan sehingga kini...
Jerat Percintaan
Dalam pertemuan ini
Kita terperangkap sudah
Dalam jerat percintaan
Yang tidak disangkakan
Aku telah jadi lupa siapa diriku ini
Engkau juga dihanyutkan
Oleh arus percintaan
Tapi pabila aku sedar diri siapakah aku ini
Aku tertanya sendiri apakah akan terjadi
Oh apakah kita kan teruskan
Di dalam arus percintaan
Perlukah kita untuk berkorban
Demi pertahankan kebahagian
Dalam persimpangan ini
Ku masih terus menanti
Dalam rasa keharuan
Di manakah akhirnya
Love you...Siti, moga berbahagia selamanya...
Friday, January 20, 2012
LUAHAN HATI SEORANG SUAMI
Luahan hati yang dikongsikan oleh Ustaz Nasir di Facebook pada 5 Jan 2012 yang menyentuh hati, kukongsikan di sini kerana sharing is caring and caring is Loving. Selamat membaca...
LUAHAN HATI SEORANG SUAMI yang saya (Ustaz Nasir) terserempak kat Facebook...yang membuatkan saya secara tiba2 mahu menangis..
ISTERI YANG TERBAIK....
SETIAP SUAMI MESTI BACA !!!!!!!!!!!!
*****************************************************
Assalamualaikum….
Kehadapan ustaz yg saya hormati…saya tidak tahu..di mana ingin saya mulakan bicara ini… tetapi saya mesti menceritakn kisah ini pada ustaz supaya hati saya tenang dan mungkin dapat meredakan rasa berdosa saya selama ini…ustaz mungkin tidak kenal saya namun saya mengenali ustaz..tak mengapalah kalau ustaz tak kenal saya pun….
Ustaz saya merupakan seorang lelaki yang mempunyai memori kehidupan lampau yg cukup menyedihkan.harap ustaz tidak bosan mendengarnya..
Saya merupakan seorang suami kepada seorang isteri yg amat baik dan setia.namun ustaz..,saya tidak pernah menghargai kasih dan sayangnya yang dicurahkan kepada saya kerana pada waktu itu mata hati saya terlalu buta untuk membezakan yang mana kaca dan permata.
Ustaz saya telah berkahwin dengan seorang wanita yang pada asalnya tidak saya cintai.dia seorang yang sederhana pada segi paras rupanya.,seorang yang tidak pandai bergaya.,tetapi kuat pegangan agamanya..,bertudung labuh,bersopan santun..,baik budi bahasanya.,Untuk pengetahuan ustaz perkahwinan kami ini segala-galanya diaturkan oleh keluarga dalam keadaan saya masih belum bersedia.
Ustaz terus terang saya katakan yang saya sudahpun mempunyai teman wanita yg jauh lebih cantik daripada isteri saya dan kami amat menyintai antara satu sama lain..cumanya saya akui teman wanita saya ini agak sosial sedikit dan tidak menutup aurat.Ustaz, selepas berkahwin dengan isteri saya itu jiwa saya menjadi kacau dan keliru.saya amat marah kepada isteri saya.kerana pada anggapan saya kerana dialah saya tidak dapat bersama kekasih saya yg amat saya cintai itu.
Ustaz sepanjang kehidupan kami.,saya selalu sahaja mencari jalan untuk menyakitkan hatinya.dengan harapan kami akan bercerai setelah dia tak tahan dengan kerenah saya.,namun rupanya ustaz…isteri saya ini adalah wanita yang penyabar.pernah saya tidak balik ke rumah..dengan tujuan isteri saya akan membenci saya.tetapi selama mana lambat sekalipun saya balik.,dia akan tunggu saya dan bila saya masuk ke dalam rumah.dia menyambutnya dengan mesra dan bertanya:“Abang dah makan…? Nak saya panaskan lauk dan hidangkan makanan?”
Ustaz…pernah suatu hari saya menampar mukanya.apabila dia bertanya pada saya…”Abang dah solat?...abang tak pernah solat ke? Paannggg..!!satu tamparan kuat saya berikan di pipinya.perasaan geram.,marah., dan rasa terhina bercampur ego yg menggila…Bengkak pipinya., dia menangis terisak-isak.saya ingatkan mungkin dia akan membenci saya..tetapi rupa-rupanya…..dia bersabar dan melayan saya sebagai suaminya.
Ustaz pernah suatu hari.,dia ingin bermanja dengan saya,membawa sepinggan nasi goreng yang digoreng untuk saya.pada masa itu saya sedang berbual mesra dengan kekasih saya di dalam handphone..ketika dia ingin menyuapkan nasi kemulut saya,saya tolak pinggan sehingga jatuh berkecai bersama nasi goreng yang digoreng khas untuk saya., dengan linangan air mata dia mengutip setiap butiran nasi goreng yang berhamburan ke lantai…
Ustaz saya bertambah lupa daratan…saya habiskan masa berhibur dan berlibur dengan kawan-kawan di luar dengan harapan isteri saya akan lebih sakit hati dan meninggalkan saya rupanya dia tetap tabah dan bersabar..pernah juga saya menendang badannya kerana dia menasihati saya supaya tidak mencari hiburan dengan jalan yang dimurkai Allah.
Ustaz….pernah suatu ketika apabila keluarganya datang bertanyakan khabar dia kata dia amat bahagia bersama saya…tapi sebenarnya hanya saya yang tahu dia berbohong.
Ustaz suatu hari saya telah diberikan balasan oleh Allah.dan saya kira itu adalah balasan apabila saya terlibat dengan kemalangan…tulang paha saya patah dan dan sememangnya saya tidak berdaya utk bangun.hampir lima bulan saya terbaring tidak berdaya..,ketika itulah isteri saya menjaga saya dengan setia sekali.berak kencing saya dia tadahkan dia basuhkan tanpa ada rungutan atau perasaan genyi mahupun geli.
Dialah yang memandikan saya…menggosok badan saya dan memakaikan pakaian utk saya..bila saya mengerang sakit kerana kaki yang bengkak di tengah malam berdenyut-denyut sakitnya dialah yang bangun dalam keadaan mengantuk dan terhoyong hayang kerana tidak cukup tidur..dia datang kepada saya dan menyapukan ubat krim dan memberi saya ubat penahan sakit sehingga saya rasa lega dan tertidur..tetapi isteri saya tidak tidur hingga ke pagi.., risau saya mengerang kesakitan lagi.
Ustaz isteri sayalah yang menyuapkan saya makan., dia sendiri tidak akan makan melainkan setelah saya kenyang.dia akan membuatkan makanan dan minuman mengikut kehendak dan selera saya. Bila saya kenangkan kembali.,sewaktu saya terlantar sakit tiada siapa pun dari teman-teman yang setia berjoli dengan saya dahulu datang menghulurkan bantuan apatah lagi melawat.kekasih saya..lagi lah..apabila dapat tahu saya kemalangan dan tidak boleh bangun dia tidak mahu lagi menghubungi saya malah meminta hubungan kami diputuskan..kononnya saya suami orang..huhu..
Sekarang baru dia kata saya suami orang.dulu.,dialah yang menghasut dan memberikan harapan pada saya untuk membenci isteri saya..ketika itu barulah saya sedar betapa besarnya kesilapan dan dosa yang telah saya lakukan.Ustaz…..saya…kasar..kejam dan zalim kepada isteri yg menyayangi saya.besarnya dosa saya.,amat menyesal rasanya.
Ustaz….ketika saya boleh berjalan sedikit demi sedikit dan saya beransur pulih.,isteri saya jatuh sakit.badannya menjadi kurus kering.,tiada selera makan..,terbaring..tak bermaya..kata doktor yang merawatnya isteri saya jadi begitu kerana terlalu letih dan susah hati….hati saya menjadi sebak kerana saya tahu sayalah puncanya.
Ustaz kesihatan isteri saya makin teruk..mukanya makin pucat…tetapi dia tetap senyum.saya menangis sepuas-puasnya memohon ampun dan maaf di atas kejahatan yg pernah saya lakukan terhadapnya.dia hanya tenang dan menjawab dia telah lama maafkan saya….”Abang saya dah lama maafkan abang…saya sayangkan abang”.berderai airmata saya hancur hati saya.,pilu bercampur sebak yang amat sangat diikuti dengan perasaan menyesal.
Ustaz selepas itu isteri saya di masukkan ke dalam wad kecemasan.,saya menjaganya setiap hari.saya belai rambutnya saya kucup dahinya…sambil airmata ini tidak berhenti—henti mengalir.
”Jangan menangis bang….bukan salah abang…..mungkin saya ni yang tidak pandai mengambil hati abang…” Berdentum….seolah-olah hati saya disambar halilintar…saya menangis lagi sehingga keluarga yang datang melawat terpaksa menenangkan saya..malah ada yang memuji saya kerana beranggapan saya suami yang amat menyayangi isteri…ternyata pujian itu bagaikan sumpahan utk saya.
Ustaz…..isteri saya ada berkata.,dia meminta maaf kerana tidak dapat melahirkan zuriat untuk saya kerana masanya utk menghadap ilahi semakin hampir.saya meraung..merayu kepadanya agar tidak meninggalkan saya.tapi katanya.,setiap yang hidup pasti akan mati dan dia meminta saya menjaga diri baik-baik kerana dia tidak boleh lagi menjaga saya.ustaz..saya menangis …sehingga saya menjadi lemah apabila dia mengucapkan kata kata terakhir itu.
Ustaz…tepat jam 3.00 ptg setelah dua minggu berada di hospital…isteri saya telah pergi meninggalkan saya selama-lamanya..dengan bebanan dosa dan jutaan kesalan yang menerjah hati ini saya meraung semahu-mahunya….menyesal di atas kekasaran yg pernah saya lakukan.
Ustaz jiwa saya tak tenteram…apakah Allah akan mengampunkan dosa saya ini...? apakah kekasaran dan kejahatan serta layanan buruk saya kepada isteri akan diampunkan Allah….tolonglah ustaz saya amat menderita…..jiwa saya terseksa…..
Mungkin ini hukuman yang patut saya terima.Masih terngiang di telinga saya pesanan akhir isteri saya..”abang…jagalah diri baik-baik….jangan lupa tunaikan solat..,berbuat baik..,takutlah kepada Allah….dan jika bertemu dengan insan bernama isteri….jangan berkasar dengannya sayangilah dirinya.”
Ustaz sebelum isteri saya menghembuskan nafas terakhir…dia ada meninggalkan satu nota dan sebuah lagu untuk saya dengar dan hayati.lagu itu adalah harapan yang dia impikan dari saya tetapi tidak sempat dia nikmati..kasih sayang yang terkandung dalam lagu itu dia harapkan dari saya….
Di dalam nota itu dia menulis “Abang..dengarlah lagu ini dan ingatlah saya selalu…Dahulu...saya senantiasa menanti abang pulang ke rumah…Saya teringin sangat nak makan bersama abang…..mendengar cerita abang….menyambut abang pulang dari kerja….bergurau dan bermanja dengan abang…..memeluk abang ketika tidur…..tetapi semuanya mungkin tidak sempat bagi saya…jaga diri…sayang abang….selamanya."
Ustaz..saya harap ustaz tak marah saya meluahkan perasaan begini panjang pada ustaz….kerana inilah pesan isteri saya sekiranya saya merasa terlalu sedih…ceritakanlah pada ustaz dia tahulah apa nak buat utk tenangkan abang…
Ustaz….saya harap cerita saya ini dijadikan teladan bagi mereka yg bergelar suami….sayangilah isteri anda….selama mana anda berpeluang utk berbuat begitu…janganlah terjerumus dengan kesilapan yg saya lakukan…pasti anda akan menyesal tak sudah….
Terima kasih ustaz….doakan saya…….
****************************************
Sedih dan sebak bila baca luahan perasaan hamba Allah ini….memang saya banyak beri ceramah motivasi dan mendengar banyak masalah masyarakat yg dihantar pada saya dan inilah yang paling sedih.yg pernah saya baca… tambahan pula lagu yg telah ditujukan isterinya itu bila dengar bertambah sebak…..dengarkanlah senikatanya…….tapi tak boleh upload lagu tu dibawah copyright..
P/s dr saya: kita cuma akan menghargai sesuatu bila kita dah kehilangannya..hargailah ia sementara masih ada....
Semoga roh isterinya ditempatkan dalam kalangan orang yang beriman, sungguh berbahagia penduduk langit menyambut kehadiran isteri solehah sepertinya..Semoga si suami itu mendapat ketenangan sakinah yang ia cari selepas ini..amiin ya Rabbi.. :)
AMBIL IKTIBAR, SAYANGI ISTERI2 ANDA..
LUAHAN HATI SEORANG SUAMI yang saya (Ustaz Nasir) terserempak kat Facebook...yang membuatkan saya secara tiba2 mahu menangis..
ISTERI YANG TERBAIK....
SETIAP SUAMI MESTI BACA !!!!!!!!!!!!
*****************************************************
Assalamualaikum….
Kehadapan ustaz yg saya hormati…saya tidak tahu..di mana ingin saya mulakan bicara ini… tetapi saya mesti menceritakn kisah ini pada ustaz supaya hati saya tenang dan mungkin dapat meredakan rasa berdosa saya selama ini…ustaz mungkin tidak kenal saya namun saya mengenali ustaz..tak mengapalah kalau ustaz tak kenal saya pun….
Ustaz saya merupakan seorang lelaki yang mempunyai memori kehidupan lampau yg cukup menyedihkan.harap ustaz tidak bosan mendengarnya..
Saya merupakan seorang suami kepada seorang isteri yg amat baik dan setia.namun ustaz..,saya tidak pernah menghargai kasih dan sayangnya yang dicurahkan kepada saya kerana pada waktu itu mata hati saya terlalu buta untuk membezakan yang mana kaca dan permata.
Ustaz saya telah berkahwin dengan seorang wanita yang pada asalnya tidak saya cintai.dia seorang yang sederhana pada segi paras rupanya.,seorang yang tidak pandai bergaya.,tetapi kuat pegangan agamanya..,bertudung labuh,bersopan santun..,baik budi bahasanya.,Untuk pengetahuan ustaz perkahwinan kami ini segala-galanya diaturkan oleh keluarga dalam keadaan saya masih belum bersedia.
Ustaz terus terang saya katakan yang saya sudahpun mempunyai teman wanita yg jauh lebih cantik daripada isteri saya dan kami amat menyintai antara satu sama lain..cumanya saya akui teman wanita saya ini agak sosial sedikit dan tidak menutup aurat.Ustaz, selepas berkahwin dengan isteri saya itu jiwa saya menjadi kacau dan keliru.saya amat marah kepada isteri saya.kerana pada anggapan saya kerana dialah saya tidak dapat bersama kekasih saya yg amat saya cintai itu.
Ustaz sepanjang kehidupan kami.,saya selalu sahaja mencari jalan untuk menyakitkan hatinya.dengan harapan kami akan bercerai setelah dia tak tahan dengan kerenah saya.,namun rupanya ustaz…isteri saya ini adalah wanita yang penyabar.pernah saya tidak balik ke rumah..dengan tujuan isteri saya akan membenci saya.tetapi selama mana lambat sekalipun saya balik.,dia akan tunggu saya dan bila saya masuk ke dalam rumah.dia menyambutnya dengan mesra dan bertanya:“Abang dah makan…? Nak saya panaskan lauk dan hidangkan makanan?”
Ustaz…pernah suatu hari saya menampar mukanya.apabila dia bertanya pada saya…”Abang dah solat?...abang tak pernah solat ke? Paannggg..!!satu tamparan kuat saya berikan di pipinya.perasaan geram.,marah., dan rasa terhina bercampur ego yg menggila…Bengkak pipinya., dia menangis terisak-isak.saya ingatkan mungkin dia akan membenci saya..tetapi rupa-rupanya…..dia bersabar dan melayan saya sebagai suaminya.
Ustaz pernah suatu hari.,dia ingin bermanja dengan saya,membawa sepinggan nasi goreng yang digoreng untuk saya.pada masa itu saya sedang berbual mesra dengan kekasih saya di dalam handphone..ketika dia ingin menyuapkan nasi kemulut saya,saya tolak pinggan sehingga jatuh berkecai bersama nasi goreng yang digoreng khas untuk saya., dengan linangan air mata dia mengutip setiap butiran nasi goreng yang berhamburan ke lantai…
Ustaz saya bertambah lupa daratan…saya habiskan masa berhibur dan berlibur dengan kawan-kawan di luar dengan harapan isteri saya akan lebih sakit hati dan meninggalkan saya rupanya dia tetap tabah dan bersabar..pernah juga saya menendang badannya kerana dia menasihati saya supaya tidak mencari hiburan dengan jalan yang dimurkai Allah.
Ustaz….pernah suatu ketika apabila keluarganya datang bertanyakan khabar dia kata dia amat bahagia bersama saya…tapi sebenarnya hanya saya yang tahu dia berbohong.
Ustaz suatu hari saya telah diberikan balasan oleh Allah.dan saya kira itu adalah balasan apabila saya terlibat dengan kemalangan…tulang paha saya patah dan dan sememangnya saya tidak berdaya utk bangun.hampir lima bulan saya terbaring tidak berdaya..,ketika itulah isteri saya menjaga saya dengan setia sekali.berak kencing saya dia tadahkan dia basuhkan tanpa ada rungutan atau perasaan genyi mahupun geli.
Dialah yang memandikan saya…menggosok badan saya dan memakaikan pakaian utk saya..bila saya mengerang sakit kerana kaki yang bengkak di tengah malam berdenyut-denyut sakitnya dialah yang bangun dalam keadaan mengantuk dan terhoyong hayang kerana tidak cukup tidur..dia datang kepada saya dan menyapukan ubat krim dan memberi saya ubat penahan sakit sehingga saya rasa lega dan tertidur..tetapi isteri saya tidak tidur hingga ke pagi.., risau saya mengerang kesakitan lagi.
Ustaz isteri sayalah yang menyuapkan saya makan., dia sendiri tidak akan makan melainkan setelah saya kenyang.dia akan membuatkan makanan dan minuman mengikut kehendak dan selera saya. Bila saya kenangkan kembali.,sewaktu saya terlantar sakit tiada siapa pun dari teman-teman yang setia berjoli dengan saya dahulu datang menghulurkan bantuan apatah lagi melawat.kekasih saya..lagi lah..apabila dapat tahu saya kemalangan dan tidak boleh bangun dia tidak mahu lagi menghubungi saya malah meminta hubungan kami diputuskan..kononnya saya suami orang..huhu..
Sekarang baru dia kata saya suami orang.dulu.,dialah yang menghasut dan memberikan harapan pada saya untuk membenci isteri saya..ketika itu barulah saya sedar betapa besarnya kesilapan dan dosa yang telah saya lakukan.Ustaz…..saya…kasar..kejam dan zalim kepada isteri yg menyayangi saya.besarnya dosa saya.,amat menyesal rasanya.
Ustaz….ketika saya boleh berjalan sedikit demi sedikit dan saya beransur pulih.,isteri saya jatuh sakit.badannya menjadi kurus kering.,tiada selera makan..,terbaring..tak bermaya..kata doktor yang merawatnya isteri saya jadi begitu kerana terlalu letih dan susah hati….hati saya menjadi sebak kerana saya tahu sayalah puncanya.
Ustaz kesihatan isteri saya makin teruk..mukanya makin pucat…tetapi dia tetap senyum.saya menangis sepuas-puasnya memohon ampun dan maaf di atas kejahatan yg pernah saya lakukan terhadapnya.dia hanya tenang dan menjawab dia telah lama maafkan saya….”Abang saya dah lama maafkan abang…saya sayangkan abang”.berderai airmata saya hancur hati saya.,pilu bercampur sebak yang amat sangat diikuti dengan perasaan menyesal.
Ustaz selepas itu isteri saya di masukkan ke dalam wad kecemasan.,saya menjaganya setiap hari.saya belai rambutnya saya kucup dahinya…sambil airmata ini tidak berhenti—henti mengalir.
”Jangan menangis bang….bukan salah abang…..mungkin saya ni yang tidak pandai mengambil hati abang…” Berdentum….seolah-olah hati saya disambar halilintar…saya menangis lagi sehingga keluarga yang datang melawat terpaksa menenangkan saya..malah ada yang memuji saya kerana beranggapan saya suami yang amat menyayangi isteri…ternyata pujian itu bagaikan sumpahan utk saya.
Ustaz…..isteri saya ada berkata.,dia meminta maaf kerana tidak dapat melahirkan zuriat untuk saya kerana masanya utk menghadap ilahi semakin hampir.saya meraung..merayu kepadanya agar tidak meninggalkan saya.tapi katanya.,setiap yang hidup pasti akan mati dan dia meminta saya menjaga diri baik-baik kerana dia tidak boleh lagi menjaga saya.ustaz..saya menangis …sehingga saya menjadi lemah apabila dia mengucapkan kata kata terakhir itu.
Ustaz…tepat jam 3.00 ptg setelah dua minggu berada di hospital…isteri saya telah pergi meninggalkan saya selama-lamanya..dengan bebanan dosa dan jutaan kesalan yang menerjah hati ini saya meraung semahu-mahunya….menyesal di atas kekasaran yg pernah saya lakukan.
Ustaz jiwa saya tak tenteram…apakah Allah akan mengampunkan dosa saya ini...? apakah kekasaran dan kejahatan serta layanan buruk saya kepada isteri akan diampunkan Allah….tolonglah ustaz saya amat menderita…..jiwa saya terseksa…..
Mungkin ini hukuman yang patut saya terima.Masih terngiang di telinga saya pesanan akhir isteri saya..”abang…jagalah diri baik-baik….jangan lupa tunaikan solat..,berbuat baik..,takutlah kepada Allah….dan jika bertemu dengan insan bernama isteri….jangan berkasar dengannya sayangilah dirinya.”
Ustaz sebelum isteri saya menghembuskan nafas terakhir…dia ada meninggalkan satu nota dan sebuah lagu untuk saya dengar dan hayati.lagu itu adalah harapan yang dia impikan dari saya tetapi tidak sempat dia nikmati..kasih sayang yang terkandung dalam lagu itu dia harapkan dari saya….
Di dalam nota itu dia menulis “Abang..dengarlah lagu ini dan ingatlah saya selalu…Dahulu...saya senantiasa menanti abang pulang ke rumah…Saya teringin sangat nak makan bersama abang…..mendengar cerita abang….menyambut abang pulang dari kerja….bergurau dan bermanja dengan abang…..memeluk abang ketika tidur…..tetapi semuanya mungkin tidak sempat bagi saya…jaga diri…sayang abang….selamanya."
Ustaz..saya harap ustaz tak marah saya meluahkan perasaan begini panjang pada ustaz….kerana inilah pesan isteri saya sekiranya saya merasa terlalu sedih…ceritakanlah pada ustaz dia tahulah apa nak buat utk tenangkan abang…
Ustaz….saya harap cerita saya ini dijadikan teladan bagi mereka yg bergelar suami….sayangilah isteri anda….selama mana anda berpeluang utk berbuat begitu…janganlah terjerumus dengan kesilapan yg saya lakukan…pasti anda akan menyesal tak sudah….
Terima kasih ustaz….doakan saya…….
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Sedih dan sebak bila baca luahan perasaan hamba Allah ini….memang saya banyak beri ceramah motivasi dan mendengar banyak masalah masyarakat yg dihantar pada saya dan inilah yang paling sedih.yg pernah saya baca… tambahan pula lagu yg telah ditujukan isterinya itu bila dengar bertambah sebak…..dengarkanlah senikatanya…….tapi tak boleh upload lagu tu dibawah copyright..
P/s dr saya: kita cuma akan menghargai sesuatu bila kita dah kehilangannya..hargailah ia sementara masih ada....
Semoga roh isterinya ditempatkan dalam kalangan orang yang beriman, sungguh berbahagia penduduk langit menyambut kehadiran isteri solehah sepertinya..Semoga si suami itu mendapat ketenangan sakinah yang ia cari selepas ini..amiin ya Rabbi.. :)
AMBIL IKTIBAR, SAYANGI ISTERI2 ANDA..
Bunga Yang Tidak Pernah Layu
Ibu
Engkau bunga yang tidak akan pernah layu
Budi dan jasamu tidak akan terbalas
Walau seisi bumi dan lautan menjadi hadiah
Manakan sama pengorbananmu membesarkan aku
dengan kasih sayangmu yang tidak pernah surut dan terbatas
Engkau yang memberi dan terus memberi tanpa mengharapkan balasan
Engkau yang terus berdoa dan berdoa demi kesejahteraan dan kebahagiaanku
Hanya padaMu ya Allah
Kupohonkan dengan rasa kasih sayang yg menggunung
Ampunilah ibuku, berikan dia kebahagiaan
dan masukkan dia ke dalam syurgaMu
bersama orang-orang yang beriman...
Mengubati Parut di Hati
Parut di kaki boleh dijaga dgn macam-macam petua,dah makin hilang...parut di hati siapa juga yang tahu...
Ada orang kata, lagi banyak parut di hati itu tandanya orang itu adalah penyayang, suka memberi kasih sayang dan menyayangi walau tidak kekal dan hanya tinggal parut sebagai kenangan.
Jangan berhenti
memberi kasih sayang dan menyayangi walaupun tidak dihargai. Jangan berhenti
berharap selagi nyawa di kandung badan.
Jangan berhenti
dan putus asa dengan rahmat Allah kerana tiada yang mustahil dengan izinNya.
"Katakanlah (Wahai Muhammad): “Wahai hamba-hambaku yang telah melampaui batas terhadap diri sendiri (dengan perbuatan-perbuatan maksiat), janganlah berputus asa dari rahmat Allah, kerana sesungguhnya Allah mengampunkan segala dosa; sesungguhnya dialah jua yang Maha Pengampun; lagi Maha Mengasihani”. Al-Zumar:39
Hiduplah dengan berguna, bahagia dan penuh bermakna dengan kasih sayang dan rahmatNya.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Jangan Izinkan Aku Jatuh Cinta Andai Masanya Belum Tiba
Ya Allah,
Andai masanya belum tiba,
Jangan izinkan aku untuk jatuh cinta,
Aku memohon agar Kau tunjukkan jalan,
Agar Kau tunjukkan aku tuntutun yang perlu aku lakukan,
Jauhkanlah aku daripada kemaksiatan,
Jauhkanlah aku daripada perkara yang tidak dapat memberi manfaat,
Dan jauhkan aku daripada perkara yang Engkau murkai,
Agar aku dapat menjaga diri.
Andai masanya belum tiba,
Jangan izinkan aku untuk jatuh cinta,
Aku memohon agar Kau tunjukkan jalan,
Agar Kau tunjukkan aku tuntutun yang perlu aku lakukan,
Jauhkanlah aku daripada kemaksiatan,
Jauhkanlah aku daripada perkara yang tidak dapat memberi manfaat,
Dan jauhkan aku daripada perkara yang Engkau murkai,
Agar aku dapat menjaga diri.
Ya Allah,
Jika aku jatuh cinta,
Izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut pada-Mu,
Jadikanlah aku yang mencintainya kerana agama yang ada padanya,
Jika dia hilangkan agama yang ada dalam dirinya,
Maka hilanglah cintaku padanya,
Sesungguhnya, cinta yang suci itu tidak buta.
Jika aku jatuh cinta,
Izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut pada-Mu,
Jadikanlah aku yang mencintainya kerana agama yang ada padanya,
Jika dia hilangkan agama yang ada dalam dirinya,
Maka hilanglah cintaku padanya,
Sesungguhnya, cinta yang suci itu tidak buta.
Ya Allah,
Dan jika dia mencintai aku,
Biarkanlah dia mencintai aku kerana agama itu juga,
Asalkan dia tidak lebihkan cinta kepadaku melebihi cinta kepadaMu,
Supaya cinta itu bersemi di lembayung keredhaan-Mu,
Kerna dari situ lahirlah rahmah dan mawaddah dalam rumahtangga.
Dan jika dia mencintai aku,
Biarkanlah dia mencintai aku kerana agama itu juga,
Asalkan dia tidak lebihkan cinta kepadaku melebihi cinta kepadaMu,
Supaya cinta itu bersemi di lembayung keredhaan-Mu,
Kerna dari situ lahirlah rahmah dan mawaddah dalam rumahtangga.
Ya Allah,
Jika ini bukan masanya,
Jika ini belum saatnya,
Dan jika Kau tahu kami belum bersedia,
Selamatkan kami,
Jarakkan kami,
Pisahkan kami,
Agar kami jauh dari khilaf yang merosak izzah dan iffah,
Agar kami tak mengundang murka-MU,
Agar kami dapat lebih menjaga hati,
Agar hati menjadi yang diredhai ilahi.
Jika ini bukan masanya,
Jika ini belum saatnya,
Dan jika Kau tahu kami belum bersedia,
Selamatkan kami,
Jarakkan kami,
Pisahkan kami,
Agar kami jauh dari khilaf yang merosak izzah dan iffah,
Agar kami tak mengundang murka-MU,
Agar kami dapat lebih menjaga hati,
Agar hati menjadi yang diredhai ilahi.
Ya Allah,
Andai dia bukan untuk ku,
Andai dia bukan jodohku,
Maka berilah ganti yang lebih baik buatnya,
Berikanlah dia insan yang benar benar terbaik buat kehidupannya,
Insan yang benar-benar mampu memimpinnya ke syurga-Mu,
Dan bantulah aku untuk memperbaiki diriku,
Agar aku kukuh dalam mencari cinta-Mu.
Andai dia bukan untuk ku,
Andai dia bukan jodohku,
Maka berilah ganti yang lebih baik buatnya,
Berikanlah dia insan yang benar benar terbaik buat kehidupannya,
Insan yang benar-benar mampu memimpinnya ke syurga-Mu,
Dan bantulah aku untuk memperbaiki diriku,
Agar aku kukuh dalam mencari cinta-Mu.
Ameen..
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Buatlah walau TERPAKSA - Ustaz Azhar Idrus
Bertudunglah walaupun keadaan terpaksa... Solatlah walaupun keadaan terpaksa... Puasalah walau keadaan terpaksa... Kerana kewajiban itu memang kadang kala sifatnya terpaksa... Dari keterpaksaan itu perlahan-lahan kita akan menemukan hikmah dan pada akhirnya hati pun menjadi ikhlas untuk beribadah kepadaNya. Jika harus menunggu keikhlasan hati lebih dulu untuk beribadah, sampai bila nak menunggu?? Hidayah bukan untuk ditunggu, melainkan dicari... InsyaALLAH... Ia ibarat makanan, jika tidak disuap, manakan ia masuk ke mulut..
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Tuhan Berikan Aku Cinta
Tuhan berikan aku CintaMU dan Cintanya...aku juga ingin bahagia, berilah restu dan halalMu, Tuhan beri aku CINTA :)
Sunday, January 08, 2012
Healing Your Heart
“You may have someone in your mind, someone in your heart, someone in your dreams, someone in your life, but I am your someone when you have no one" Allah[swt] reminds us by saying "O Prophet! Allah is sufficient for you and for the believers who follow you. [Qur'an:8:64]" So when you slip and fall, remind yourself of Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim, the One whose always there, just waiting for your Call (Inspirational Islamic quotes)
If you are suffering from broken heart syndrome give this a read. May Allah soothe ur bruised hearts and may his remembrance comfort you and May he (swt) bless you with someone who deserves a precious pearl like you ameen summa ameen.
Love is a powerful, compelling emotion. It can make you laugh and it can make you cry. It can lift you up to the clouds and it can hurl you into an abyss. One of the dilemmas Muslims face, especially Muslim sisters, is the situation in which they get to know a prospective spouse and for some reason it does not work out.
This article is not discussing the fiqh behind getting to know your prospective spouse, as it is common for a couple to have a few “halaal” meetings and still fall deeply in love. Rather, this article deals with how to get over someone and moving on after the falling in love stage. After you have decided that this person is the one for you and then due to circumstances - be it parents, finances, etc., the two of you cannot get married. Insha Allah this article will be a guide on how to get over that person and move on with your life.
Step 1: Accepting Allah’s Qadr
This has got to be one of the toughest tests of qadr. Love muddles your mind and when all you see are the good characteristics of someone it is difficult to see why it is not working out, especially if this is your first real love. How can this brother who is practicing his deen, has a nice beard, soft and caring be wrong for me? How can this sister who is attractive, fun and religious not be my perfect partner?
The key concept to remember here is: you do not know someone until you have lived with them for a substantial time. Even that person does not know what they are like and how they will react in certain situations. Just because you have these elated feelings of love does not necessarily mean this is the right person. Marriage is a struggle and people develop themselves and change with the experience. Only Allah knows your compatibility, only Allah knows what situations you will face and your reactions. Only Allah knows whether or not this marriage will bring you closer to Him or distract you from the real purpose in life. It is only Allah who knows. Have trust in Allah that He has made the right choice for you. For no matter how much this person claims their love for you or vice versa, know that no one can love you as much as Allah.
So firstly, make dua to Allah to ease your pain and help you be content with His qadr. The following is my favorite Hadith regarding qadr as it really fills you with the awe of Allah and His infinite wisdom.
“Allah `azza wa jall said: ‘Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by being inflicted with poverty, and were I to enrich him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by wealth and affluence, and were I to deprive him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by good health, and were I to make him sick, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by disease and illness, and were I to make him healthy, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he who seeks worship by a certain act but I prevent that from him so that self-amazement does not enter his heart. Certainly, I run the affairs of My slaves by My Knowledge of what is in their hearts. Certainly, I am the All-Knower, All-Aware’.” [Tabarani]
Step 2: Awareness of the love-drug syndrome
An interesting study was conducted comparing drug users to people who claimed to be “madly in love”. They found that brain scans showed people who are in the first stages of love and people who are high on cocaine have the same areas of the brain stimulated while looking at a picture of their “beloved”. In other words, being in the first stage of love is similar to being high on drugs! With drugs, you are not in love with the powder itself – you are in love with the feelings that it gives you.
Similarly, the thing that we love is the special attention, the butterflies in the stomach, the acknowledgment that someone cares about us in a special way, looks at us in a special way, thinks about us in a special way – the constant day dreaming about the future and daily scenarios. So it is not that this person is perfect, it is that this person allows us to feel all these emotions which are addictive. In reality we are not in love with the person, we are in love with Love itself.
Being in love with Love explains how some people overlook major faults in their prospective spouse. I knew a practicing sister who wanted to marry someone who had a drug and alcohol problem. This was because in both cases these “faults” were discovered during the first butterfly phase of love and not before. Alhamdulilah, by the qadr of Allah the marriage did not take place, but it was due to circumstances, not because the sister had realised that they were not a suited match.
Awareness of this love-drug syndrome has two major benefits. Firstly, awareness is power and it breeds hope. Once you are aware that it is the feelings you are attached to, realise you can actually get them elsewhere.
These feelings are not specific to this one person; you will get these feelings with your new, more suitable prospective partner – the one that Allah will put into your life at the right time insha Allah. Love clouds your mind and makes you think that you will not find this strong love and passion with anyone else. But this is simply not true. You will find this love to be even stronger and more passionate with the right person (the one that is written for you in the Lahw al Mahfooz).
The second benefit is knowing that just like a drug-user naturally has withdrawal symptoms when they stop, you too will naturally have withdrawal symptoms, and it will be difficult. Getting over someone is emotionally painful so don’t be too hard on yourself, validate your feelings and allow yourself time to heal. Know that this is common – nearly everyone goes through heartache at some point in their lives, and eventually recover with time.
As a side point: It is not a sin to fall in love; it is a natural emotion which the human species depends on! If you did sin in the process then repent to Allah, He is the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. Love is a powerful emotion, which is why there are boundaries in Islam. If you have fallen outside those boundaries, repent and move on.
Step 3: Be proactive
Allow yourself time but also get proactive! Marriage is just one of the many aspects of your life; it is not the be all and end all of things. What are your aspirations? What do you want to achieve in your life? Write down a list of goals you want to achieve by the end of the month and get started on them right away. As Muslims, our continuous goal is striving to get closer to Allah, so working on your eman and your relationship with Allah must be included in some way. Focus your attention on moving forward rather than wasting time with something that “could have been”.
Step 4: Move on
In the spirit of being proactive, the last stage is to actively open your heart and mind to someone else. This could be difficult, as naturally comparisons will creep in, but again realise the fact that it has not worked out means that Allah has someone better suited for you. As illustrated in the famous Hadith of the birds:
“If you depend on Allah with due reliance, He would certainly give you provision as He gives it the birds who go forth hungry in the morning and return with a full belly at dusk.” [Tirmidhi]
Allah will provide for you but you have to get up and get moving again. Just like the birds, go out and seek. Make the effort on your part and leave the rest to Allah and His infinite wisdom.
How To Heal A Broken Heart
Step 1: Accept that the Relationship is Over
Healing a broken heart is a process and the first step of that process is accepting that the relationship is really over. Until you do this, you are essentially denying the reality of the situation. And you can’t truly move on with your life if you’re living in denial.
The reason it’s so tempting to live in denial is because we don’t want to admit to ourselves that the relationship is really over. The thought of losing the person we love and living our lives without them is too painful. Instead, we want to cling to the hope of being able to work things out and get back together. However, in most cases, this is simply not possible because you guys broke up for a reason. And if you think those reasons are not going to be there if you guys get back together then you are only fooling yourself.
Step 2: Remember Why It Ended
People will go to any length to avoid pain and yet it’s a well-known fact that losing the person you love is a very painful experience. So why would someone inflict this pain on both you and themselves if it’s human nature to avoid pain at all costs?
It’s because the pain of being in the relationship to them was far greater than the pain of losing the relationship. In other words, the relationship was no longer a source of joy and happiness for them. It was a source of frustration and disappointment and they felt unfulfilled. They were far more focused on the pain that being with you was causing them rather than the joy. This is what gave them the strength and courage to overcome the pain of losing you.
Well, if you want to get over your ex and move on with your life then you ought to do the same thing. Focus on all the bad things about the relationship. Concentrate on the things that made you unhappy. Recall the reasons why you broke up. This will give you a much more accurate and realistic picture of your relationship and remind you of why things ended. After a break up, it’s tempting to idealize our ex and act like the relationship was much better than it really was. If that was truly the case, then it wouldn’t be ending. Take off the rose-colored glasses and see it for what it really is.
Step 3: Heal Your Broken Heart by Grieving the Loss
You will certainly feel a variety of emotions after a break up, such as anger, loneliness, sadness, fear, jealousy, shame, humiliation, depression and despair. These feelings can also surface physically, like crying or feeling a pain in your chest as if your heart is breaking.
Not only are these “negative” emotions considered healthy, but they are also very important for you to feel in order to remain healthy. I know it may not seem like that right now because they’re making you miserable but allowing yourself time to grieve is an important part of healing a broken heart.
So give yourself the permission to feel all these emotions and work through them as they come up. Repressing your emotions and burying your feelings may make it easier to cope with a break up day to day, but it will only make the feelings worse when they do eventually come back up. Now don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to walk around wearing your heart on your sleeve all the time. It’s okay to sweep your feelings under the rug for a short period of time in order to get through the work day but be sure to revisit them frequently so that you can work through them and eventually let them go.
Step 4: Reflect on The Past
You will know when you’re ready to reflect on the situation logically. In the early weeks, even the thought of your ex may send you into fits of sobs. But as time moves along, you will find yourself naturally contemplating the entire situation with logic rather than emotion. At this point, you are ready to see things a lot more clearly, especially with the help of hindsight.
Now is the time to determine what you learned from the relationship. No matter how good or bad the relationship was, and no matter how it ended, you have surely learned some valuable life lessons. There are always gifts that come with any relationship. It might be some realization that you had about yourself, what you want or what you don’t want in your life. Think about how this relationship made you a stronger and better person. Assessing the good and bad and determining what you learned is absolutely essential in order to grow as a person and move on with your life.
The goal here is to turn your wounds into wisdom.
Remember, your wounds can make you bitter or your wounds can make you better.
The choice is yours.
Step 5: Heal Your Broken Heart By Learning to Love Yourself Fully
After a breakup, we often start scrutinizing every aspect of ourselves. Were you not pretty enough? Not funny enough? Not exciting enough? The truth is that you were “enough” in every aspect, but getting this through your head after a breakup is like fighting an uphill battle. That’s because we usually feel like we were somehow responsible for the break up. We like to think that if we had only been more ____, then they wouldn’t have left us.
All I can say to that is that nothing your ex ever said or did is entirely about you. It’s simply a reflection of who they are, where they’re at in their life and what they value. Even if your ex blames you for everything that happened in the relationship, remember that it’s only one side of the story. It takes two to tango and your ex is just another human being with their own imperfections and shortcomings. They have their own set of issues to deal with, as do you. So keep that in mind before putting all the blame on yourself.
Let go of your feelings of lack and realize that you are not any less worthy, whole and complete as a person just because things didn’t work out with this particular partner. Remember that they are just one person. I know they were probably the most important person but they are, after all, just one person. The fact is two may have simply not been a good match for one another. I know it may have felt like they were “the one” when you guys first met but your true compatibility can only reveal itself over time. Unfortunately, the beginning of a relationship is often not the best indicator of what being in a relationship with that person is really like.
Remember this the next time you blame yourself for what happened. Realize that there’s no way you could have foreseen any of these things in advance because a person’s true character is only revealed over time. Yes, I know it hurts to face the fact that what you had is not what you thought it was but what can you do now? Dust it off and move on. Don’t let one incompatible partner get you all down about yourself. There’s plenty of people out there that will love you and appreciate you for who you are. Acknowledge all your positive qualities and go out there and give people the gift of you!
If you’re feeling confused or frustrated about something that happened between you and your ex, click below to get my advice on how to heal a broken heart based on your situation
After a breakup, we often start scrutinizing every aspect of ourselves. Were you not pretty enough? Not funny enough? Not exciting enough? The truth is that you were “enough” in every aspect, but getting this through your head after a breakup is like fighting an uphill battle. That’s because we usually feel like we were somehow responsible for the break up. We like to think that if we had only been more ____, then they wouldn’t have left us.
All I can say to that is that nothing your ex ever said or did is entirely about you. It’s simply a reflection of who they are, where they’re at in their life and what they value. Even if your ex blames you for everything that happened in the relationship, remember that it’s only one side of the story. It takes two to tango and your ex is just another human being with their own imperfections and shortcomings. They have their own set of issues to deal with, as do you. So keep that in mind before putting all the blame on yourself.
Let go of your feelings of lack and realize that you are not any less worthy, whole and complete as a person just because things didn’t work out with this particular partner. Remember that they are just one person. I know they were probably the most important person but they are, after all, just one person. The fact is two may have simply not been a good match for one another. I know it may have felt like they were “the one” when you guys first met but your true compatibility can only reveal itself over time. Unfortunately, the beginning of a relationship is often not the best indicator of what being in a relationship with that person is really like.
Remember this the next time you blame yourself for what happened. Realize that there’s no way you could have foreseen any of these things in advance because a person’s true character is only revealed over time. Yes, I know it hurts to face the fact that what you had is not what you thought it was but what can you do now? Dust it off and move on. Don’t let one incompatible partner get you all down about yourself. There’s plenty of people out there that will love you and appreciate you for who you are. Acknowledge all your positive qualities and go out there and give people the gift of you!
If you’re feeling confused or frustrated about something that happened between you and your ex, click below to get my advice on how to heal a broken heart based on your situation
Saturday, January 07, 2012
Kisah Cinta Sejati
Kisah Nyata – Cinta Sejati ala Romeo & Juliet dari Daratan Cina
Kisah Cinta Sejati dari daratan Cina ini langsung merebut perhatian dunia. Kisah nyata ini adalah kisah 2 sejoli, yanga mana si wanita lebih tua usianya dari si pria. Mereka terpaksa melarikan diri untuk hidup bersama dan saling mengasihi dalam kedamaian selama setengah abad.
Laki-laki Cina berusia yang 70 tahun ini telah memahat batu menjadi 6000 anak tangga dengan tangannya (hand carved) untuk sang istri yang telah berusia 80 tahun itu akhirnya meninggal dunia di dalam goa yang selama 50 tahun terakhir menjadi tempat tinggalnya.
50 tahun lalu, Liu Guojiang, pemuda 19 tahun, jatuh cinta kepada seorang janda 29 tahun bernama Xu Chaoqin ….
Bak kisah Romeo dan Juliet-nya Shakespeare, teman-teman dan kerabat mereka mencela hubungan mereka karena perbedaan usia di antara mereka dan kenyataan bahwa Xu sudah punya beberapa anak….
Pada waktu itu tidak bisa diterima dan dianggap tidak bermoral bila seorang pemuda mencintai wanita yang lebih tua…
Untuk menghindari gossip murahaan dan celaan dari lingkungannya, pasangan ini memutuskan untuk melarikan diri dan tinggal di sebuah goa di Desa Jiangjin, di sebelah selatan Chong Qing.
Pada mulanya kehidupan mereka sangat menyedihkan karena tidak punya apa-apa, tidak ada listrik atau pun makanan. Mereka harus makan rumput-rumputan dan akar-akaran yang mereka temukan di gunung itu. Dan Liu membuat sebuah lampu minyak tanah untuk menerangi hidup mereka.
Xu selalu merasa bahwa ia telah mengikat Liu dan ia berulang-kali bertanya, “Apakah kau menyesal?” Liu selalu menjawab, “Selama kita rajin, kehidupan ini akan menjadi lebih baik.”
Setelah 2 tahun mereka tinggal di gunung itu, Liu mulai memahat anak-anak tangga agar isterimya dapat turun gunung dengan mudah. Dan ini berlangsung terus selama 50 tahun.
Setengah abad kemudian, di tahun 2001, sekelompok pengembara (adventurers) melakukan explorasi ke hutan itu. Mereka terheran-heran menemukan pasangan usia lanjut itu dan juga 6000 anak tangga yang telah dibuat Liu.
Liu Ming Sheng, satu dari 7 orang anak mereka mengatakan, “Orang tuaku sangat saling mengasihi, mereka hidup menyendiri selama lebih dari 50 tahun dan tak pernah berpisah sehari pun. Selama itu ayah telah memahat 6000 anak tangga itu untuk menyukakan hati ibuku, walau pun ia tidak terlalu sering turun gunung.”
Pasangan ini hidup dalam damai selama lebih dari 50 tahun. Suatu hari Liu yang sudah berusia 72 tahun pingsan ketika pulang dari ladangnya. Xu duduk dan berdoa bersama suaminya sampai Liu akhirnya meninggal dalam pelukannya. Karena sangat mencintai isterinya, genggaman Liu sangat sukar dilepaskan dari tangan Xu, isterinya.
“Kau telah berjanji akan memeliharakanku dan akan terus bersamaku sampai aku meninggal, sekarang kau telah mendahuluikun, bagaimana akan dapat hidup tanpamu?”
Selama beberapa hari Xu terus-menerus mengulangi kalimat ini sambil meraba peti jenasah suaminya dan dengan air mata yang membasahi pipinya.
Pada tahun 2006 kisah ini menjadi salah satu dari 10 kisah cinta yang terkenal di Cina, yang dikumpulkan oleh majalah Chinese Women Weekly.
Pemerintah telah memutuskan untuk melestarikan “anak tangga cinta” itu, dan tempat kediaman mereka telah dijadikan musium agar kisah cinta ini dapat hidup terus.
Kisah Cinta Sejati dari daratan Cina ini langsung merebut perhatian dunia. Kisah nyata ini adalah kisah 2 sejoli, yanga mana si wanita lebih tua usianya dari si pria. Mereka terpaksa melarikan diri untuk hidup bersama dan saling mengasihi dalam kedamaian selama setengah abad.
Laki-laki Cina berusia yang 70 tahun ini telah memahat batu menjadi 6000 anak tangga dengan tangannya (hand carved) untuk sang istri yang telah berusia 80 tahun itu akhirnya meninggal dunia di dalam goa yang selama 50 tahun terakhir menjadi tempat tinggalnya.
50 tahun lalu, Liu Guojiang, pemuda 19 tahun, jatuh cinta kepada seorang janda 29 tahun bernama Xu Chaoqin ….
Bak kisah Romeo dan Juliet-nya Shakespeare, teman-teman dan kerabat mereka mencela hubungan mereka karena perbedaan usia di antara mereka dan kenyataan bahwa Xu sudah punya beberapa anak….
Pada waktu itu tidak bisa diterima dan dianggap tidak bermoral bila seorang pemuda mencintai wanita yang lebih tua…
Untuk menghindari gossip murahaan dan celaan dari lingkungannya, pasangan ini memutuskan untuk melarikan diri dan tinggal di sebuah goa di Desa Jiangjin, di sebelah selatan Chong Qing.
Pada mulanya kehidupan mereka sangat menyedihkan karena tidak punya apa-apa, tidak ada listrik atau pun makanan. Mereka harus makan rumput-rumputan dan akar-akaran yang mereka temukan di gunung itu. Dan Liu membuat sebuah lampu minyak tanah untuk menerangi hidup mereka.
Xu selalu merasa bahwa ia telah mengikat Liu dan ia berulang-kali bertanya, “Apakah kau menyesal?” Liu selalu menjawab, “Selama kita rajin, kehidupan ini akan menjadi lebih baik.”
Setelah 2 tahun mereka tinggal di gunung itu, Liu mulai memahat anak-anak tangga agar isterimya dapat turun gunung dengan mudah. Dan ini berlangsung terus selama 50 tahun.
Setengah abad kemudian, di tahun 2001, sekelompok pengembara (adventurers) melakukan explorasi ke hutan itu. Mereka terheran-heran menemukan pasangan usia lanjut itu dan juga 6000 anak tangga yang telah dibuat Liu.
Liu Ming Sheng, satu dari 7 orang anak mereka mengatakan, “Orang tuaku sangat saling mengasihi, mereka hidup menyendiri selama lebih dari 50 tahun dan tak pernah berpisah sehari pun. Selama itu ayah telah memahat 6000 anak tangga itu untuk menyukakan hati ibuku, walau pun ia tidak terlalu sering turun gunung.”
Pasangan ini hidup dalam damai selama lebih dari 50 tahun. Suatu hari Liu yang sudah berusia 72 tahun pingsan ketika pulang dari ladangnya. Xu duduk dan berdoa bersama suaminya sampai Liu akhirnya meninggal dalam pelukannya. Karena sangat mencintai isterinya, genggaman Liu sangat sukar dilepaskan dari tangan Xu, isterinya.
“Kau telah berjanji akan memeliharakanku dan akan terus bersamaku sampai aku meninggal, sekarang kau telah mendahuluikun, bagaimana akan dapat hidup tanpamu?”
Selama beberapa hari Xu terus-menerus mengulangi kalimat ini sambil meraba peti jenasah suaminya dan dengan air mata yang membasahi pipinya.
Pada tahun 2006 kisah ini menjadi salah satu dari 10 kisah cinta yang terkenal di Cina, yang dikumpulkan oleh majalah Chinese Women Weekly.
Pemerintah telah memutuskan untuk melestarikan “anak tangga cinta” itu, dan tempat kediaman mereka telah dijadikan musium agar kisah cinta ini dapat hidup terus.
Dipetik daripada: http://qitori.wordpress.com/2008/10/22/6000-anak-tangga-cinta/
Kahwinilah Orang yang BETUL
10 Ways to Avoid Marrying the Wrong Person
There is a right way and a wrong way to get to know someone for marriage. The wrong way is to get caught up in the excitement and nuance of a budding relationship and in the process completely forget to ask the critical questions that help determine compatibility.
One of the biggest mistakes that many young Muslims make is rushing into marriage without properly and thoroughly getting to know someone. A common myth is that the duration of a courtship is an accurate enough measure of how compatible two people are. The logic follows that the longer you speak with someone, the better you will know them. The problem with that premise is that no consideration is given to how that time is spent. Increasingly, young Muslim couples are engaging in “halal dating,” which is basically socializing with each other in the company of friends and/or family. This includes going out to dinner, watching a movie, playing some sport or other leisure activity, etc. Depending on the family or culture, conversations are either minimal & chaperoned or worse, unrestricted and unsupervised. When you consider these limitations it makes one wonder when exactly, if ever at all, would the critical conversations take place? Unfortunately, for many, the answer is never and they live to suffer the consequences. If you or someone you know is in the “getting to know someone” phase, the following guide offers advice on exactly what to look for and avoid:
1) Do Not Marry Potential: Oftentimes men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change. This is the wrong approach on both accounts. Don’t assume that you can change a person after you’re married to them or that they will reach their potential. There is no guarantee, after all, that those changes will be for the better. In fact, it’s often for the worse. If you can’t accept someone or imagine living with them as they are then don’t marry them. These differences can include a number of things such as ideological or practical differences in religion, habits, hygiene, communication skills, etc.
2) Choose Character over Chemistry: While chemistry and attraction are no doubt important, character precedes them both. A famous quote follows, “Chemistry ignites the fire, but character keeps it burning.” The idea of falling “in love” should never be the sole reason for marrying someone; it is very easy to confuse infatuation and lust for love. The most important character traits to look for include humility, kindness, responsibility, & happiness. Here’s a breakdown of each trait:
Humility: The humble person never makes demands of people but rather always does right by them. They put their values and principles above convenience and comfort. They are slow to anger, are modest, and avoid materialism.
Kindness: The kind person is the quintessential giver. They seek to please and minimize the pain of others. To know if a person is a giver, observe how they treat their family, siblings, and parents. Do they have gratitude towards their parents for all that they’ve done for them? If not, then know that they will never appreciate what you do for them. How do they treat people they don’t have to be kind towards (i.e. waiters, sales associates, employees, etc)? How do they spend their money? How do they deal with anger; their own anger and their reaction to someone else’s anger?
Responsibility: A responsible person has stability in their finances, relationships, job, and character. You can you rely on this person and trust what they say.
Happiness: A happy person is content with their portion in life. They feel good about themselves and good about their life. They focus on what they have rather than on what they don’t have. They very rarely complain.
3) Do Not Neglect The Emotional Needs of Your Partner: Both men and women have emotional needs and in order for a partnership to be successful those needs must be mutually met. The fundamental emotional need of a woman is to be loved. The fundamental emotional need of a man is to be respected and appreciated. To make a woman feel loved give her the three AAAs: Attention, Affection, & Appreciation. To make a man feel loved give him the three RRRs: Respect, Reassurance, & Relief. It is the obligation of each partner to make sure the other is happy and this extends to intimacy as well. As long as each partner is fulfilled by the emotional needs of the other, the intimate relationship will thrive. When a man takes seriously the emotional needs of his wife she will feel more encouraged to fulfill his sexual desires. Likewise, when a woman takes seriously the emotional needs of her husband he will feel more encouraged to give her the affection, love and appreciation she wants from him. Working together in this way encourages both giving and receiving.
4) Avoid Opposing Life Plans: In marriage you can either grow together or grow apart. Sharing a common purpose in life will increase the chance that you will grow together.
You must know what the person is into. In other words, what are they ultimately passionate about? Then ask yourself, “Do I respect this passion?” “Do I respect what they are into?” The more specifically you define yourself, i.e., your values, your beliefs, your lifestyle, the better chance you have of finding your life partner, your soul mate, the one you are most compatible with. Remember, before you decide who to take along on a trip, you should first figure out your destination.
5) Avoid Pre-Marital Sexual/Physical Activity: Recognize that there is incredible wisdom in why God has ordered us to refrain from intimacy before marriage; they are to prevent great harms as well as to keep sacred what is the most blessed part of a relationship between a man and a woman. Aside from the obvious spiritual consequences, when a relationship gets physical before its time, important issues like character, life philosophy, and compatibility go to the wayside. Consequently, everything is romanticized and it becomes difficult to even remember the important issues let alone talk about them. Intellectual commitment must be established before emotional or sexual commitment.
6) Avoid Lack of Emotional Connection: There are four questions that you must answer YES to:
Do I respect and admire this person? What specifically do I respect and admire about this person?
Do I trust this person? Can I rely on them?
Do I trust their judgment? Do I trust their word? Can I believe what they say?
Do I feel Safe? Do I feel emotionally safe with this person? Can I be vulnerable? Can I be myself? Can I be open? Can I express myself? Do I feel calm and at peace with this person?
If the answer is “I don’t know, I’m not sure, etc.” evaluating until you know for sure and truly understand how you feel. If you don’t feel safe now, you won’t feel safe when you are married. If you don’t trust now, this won’t change when you are married!
7) Pay Attention to Your Own Emotional Anxiety: Choosing someone you don’t feel safe with emotionally is not a good recipe for a long-lasting and loving marriage. Feeling emotionally safe is the foundation of a strong and healthy marriage. When you don’t feel safe, you can’t express your feelings and opinions. Learn how to identify whether you are in an abusive relationship. If you feel you always have to monitor what you say, if you are with someone and you feel you can’t really express yourself and are always walking on eggshells, then it’s very likely you are in an abusive relationship. Look for the following things:
Controlling behavior: This includes controlling the way you act, the way you think, the way you dress, the way you wear your hair/hijab and the way you spend your time. Know the difference between suggestions and demands. Demands are an expression of control and if the demands are implied, than you must do it or there will be consequences. All of these are clear indications of abusive personalities.
Anger issues: This is someone who raises their voice on a regular basis, who is angry, gets angry at you, uses anger against you, uses put downs, and curses at you, etc. You don’t have to put up with this type of treatment. Many people who tolerate this behavior usually come from abusive backgrounds. If this is the case with you or someone you know, get help right away. Deal with those issues before getting married or before even thinking about getting married.
8) Beware of Lack of Openness In Your Partner: Many couples make the mistake of not putting everything on the table for discussion from the onset. Ask yourself, “What do I need to know to be absolutely certain I want to marry this person?” “What bothers me about this person or the relationship?” It’s very important to identify what’s bothering you, things that concern you, and things you are afraid to bring up for discussion. Then you must have an honest discussion about them. This is a great way to test the strength of your relationship. Bringing up issues when there’s conflict is a great opportunity to really evaluate how well you communicate, negotiate, and work together as a team. When people get into power struggles and blame each other, it’s an indication they don’t work well as a team. Also important is being vulnerable around each other. Ask deep questions of each other and see how your partner responds. How do they handle it? Are they defensive? Do they attack? Do they withdraw? Do they get annoyed? Do they blame you? Do they ignore it? Do they hide or rationalize it? Don’t just listen to what they say but watch for how they say it!
9) Beware of Avoiding Personal Responsibility: It’s very important to remember no one else is responsible for your happiness. Many people make the mistake of thinking someone else will fulfill them and make their life better and that’s their reason for getting married. People fail to realize that if they are unhappy as a single person, they will continue to be miserable when they are married. If you are currently not happy with yourself, don’t like yourself, don’t like the direction your life is going now, it’s important to take responsibility for that now and work on improving those areas of your life before considering marriage. Don’t bring these issues into your marriage and hope your partner will fix them.
10) Watch Out For Lack of Emotional Health and Availability In Your Potential Partner: Many people choose partners that are not emotionally healthy or available. One huge problem is when a partner is unable to balance the emotional ties to family members, the marriage ends up having 3 (or more) people in it rather than two. An example of this would be if a man is overly dependent on his mother and brings that relationship into the marriage; this is no doubt a recipe for disaster. Also important to consider are the following:
Avoid people who are emotionally empty inside. These include people who don’t like themselves because they lack the ability to be emotionally available. They are always preoccupied with their deficiencies, insecurities, and negative thoughts. They are in a perpetual fight with depression, never feel good, are isolated, are critical and judgmental; tend to not have any close friends, and often distrust people or are afraid of them. Another clear indication about them is they always feel their needs are not getting met; they have a sense of entitlement and feel angry when they feel people should take care of them and they don’t. They feel burdened by other people’s needs and feel resentment towards them. These people can not be emotionally available to build healthy relationships.
Addictions can also limit the level of availability of the partner to build a strong emotional relationship. Never marry an addict. Addictions are not limited to drugs and alcohol. They can be about addictions and dependency on work, internet, hobbies, sports, shopping, money, power, status, materialism, etc. When someone has an addiction, they will not and can not be emotionally available to develop an intimate relationship with you!
Additional Points to Consider:
The fact is no one looks 25 forever. Ultimately, we love the person we marry for more than their appearance. When we get to know someone we love and admire, we’ll love them for their inner beauty and overall essence.
Once we find someone, we consciously or subconsciously want so badly for it all to work that we decide not to question or see what is clearly in front of our eyes: they were rude to the waiter, speaks ill of others, is rude to you, etc. We don’t stop to ask, “What does all of this mean about their character?”
Never separate someone from their family, background, education, belief system, etc. Asking clear questions can clarify this. Ask questions like, “What does it mean to have a simple lifestyle?” “What are your expectations of marriage?” “How would you help around the house?” Compare your definition with theirs. Be flexible. Be open-minded!
Giving in a happy marriage should not be confused with martyrdom. It should be about taking pleasure and seeing the other person as happy because of your connection with them.
Morality and spirituality are the qualities that truly define someone in addition to beauty, money, and health. The morally upright and spiritual person will stand by your side during adversity and hardship. If someone isn’t God-conscience and doesn’t take themselves into account with God then why should you expect them to fulfill their rights owed to you? The ideal partner is someone who considers giving a gain and not causing a loss. Having a mutual and shared spiritual relationship will foster a successful marriage. Furthermore, a successful marriage is one that keeps the laws of family purity which require a certain degree of self-control and self-discipline, as well as the belief that the physical side of the relationship includes the spiritual and emotional side as well. Finding commonality and balance between the spiritual and emotional aspects of a relationship is a strong key to a healthy and thriving marriage. [by Dr. Nafisa Sekandari & Hosai Mojaddidi]
The above article was [in part] inspired by and adapted from a presentation by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.
One of the biggest mistakes that many young Muslims make is rushing into marriage without properly and thoroughly getting to know someone. A common myth is that the duration of a courtship is an accurate enough measure of how compatible two people are. The logic follows that the longer you speak with someone, the better you will know them. The problem with that premise is that no consideration is given to how that time is spent. Increasingly, young Muslim couples are engaging in “halal dating,” which is basically socializing with each other in the company of friends and/or family. This includes going out to dinner, watching a movie, playing some sport or other leisure activity, etc. Depending on the family or culture, conversations are either minimal & chaperoned or worse, unrestricted and unsupervised. When you consider these limitations it makes one wonder when exactly, if ever at all, would the critical conversations take place? Unfortunately, for many, the answer is never and they live to suffer the consequences. If you or someone you know is in the “getting to know someone” phase, the following guide offers advice on exactly what to look for and avoid:
1) Do Not Marry Potential: Oftentimes men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change. This is the wrong approach on both accounts. Don’t assume that you can change a person after you’re married to them or that they will reach their potential. There is no guarantee, after all, that those changes will be for the better. In fact, it’s often for the worse. If you can’t accept someone or imagine living with them as they are then don’t marry them. These differences can include a number of things such as ideological or practical differences in religion, habits, hygiene, communication skills, etc.
2) Choose Character over Chemistry: While chemistry and attraction are no doubt important, character precedes them both. A famous quote follows, “Chemistry ignites the fire, but character keeps it burning.” The idea of falling “in love” should never be the sole reason for marrying someone; it is very easy to confuse infatuation and lust for love. The most important character traits to look for include humility, kindness, responsibility, & happiness. Here’s a breakdown of each trait:
Humility: The humble person never makes demands of people but rather always does right by them. They put their values and principles above convenience and comfort. They are slow to anger, are modest, and avoid materialism.
Kindness: The kind person is the quintessential giver. They seek to please and minimize the pain of others. To know if a person is a giver, observe how they treat their family, siblings, and parents. Do they have gratitude towards their parents for all that they’ve done for them? If not, then know that they will never appreciate what you do for them. How do they treat people they don’t have to be kind towards (i.e. waiters, sales associates, employees, etc)? How do they spend their money? How do they deal with anger; their own anger and their reaction to someone else’s anger?
Responsibility: A responsible person has stability in their finances, relationships, job, and character. You can you rely on this person and trust what they say.
Happiness: A happy person is content with their portion in life. They feel good about themselves and good about their life. They focus on what they have rather than on what they don’t have. They very rarely complain.
3) Do Not Neglect The Emotional Needs of Your Partner: Both men and women have emotional needs and in order for a partnership to be successful those needs must be mutually met. The fundamental emotional need of a woman is to be loved. The fundamental emotional need of a man is to be respected and appreciated. To make a woman feel loved give her the three AAAs: Attention, Affection, & Appreciation. To make a man feel loved give him the three RRRs: Respect, Reassurance, & Relief. It is the obligation of each partner to make sure the other is happy and this extends to intimacy as well. As long as each partner is fulfilled by the emotional needs of the other, the intimate relationship will thrive. When a man takes seriously the emotional needs of his wife she will feel more encouraged to fulfill his sexual desires. Likewise, when a woman takes seriously the emotional needs of her husband he will feel more encouraged to give her the affection, love and appreciation she wants from him. Working together in this way encourages both giving and receiving.
4) Avoid Opposing Life Plans: In marriage you can either grow together or grow apart. Sharing a common purpose in life will increase the chance that you will grow together.
You must know what the person is into. In other words, what are they ultimately passionate about? Then ask yourself, “Do I respect this passion?” “Do I respect what they are into?” The more specifically you define yourself, i.e., your values, your beliefs, your lifestyle, the better chance you have of finding your life partner, your soul mate, the one you are most compatible with. Remember, before you decide who to take along on a trip, you should first figure out your destination.
5) Avoid Pre-Marital Sexual/Physical Activity: Recognize that there is incredible wisdom in why God has ordered us to refrain from intimacy before marriage; they are to prevent great harms as well as to keep sacred what is the most blessed part of a relationship between a man and a woman. Aside from the obvious spiritual consequences, when a relationship gets physical before its time, important issues like character, life philosophy, and compatibility go to the wayside. Consequently, everything is romanticized and it becomes difficult to even remember the important issues let alone talk about them. Intellectual commitment must be established before emotional or sexual commitment.
6) Avoid Lack of Emotional Connection: There are four questions that you must answer YES to:
Do I respect and admire this person? What specifically do I respect and admire about this person?
Do I trust this person? Can I rely on them?
Do I trust their judgment? Do I trust their word? Can I believe what they say?
Do I feel Safe? Do I feel emotionally safe with this person? Can I be vulnerable? Can I be myself? Can I be open? Can I express myself? Do I feel calm and at peace with this person?
If the answer is “I don’t know, I’m not sure, etc.” evaluating until you know for sure and truly understand how you feel. If you don’t feel safe now, you won’t feel safe when you are married. If you don’t trust now, this won’t change when you are married!
7) Pay Attention to Your Own Emotional Anxiety: Choosing someone you don’t feel safe with emotionally is not a good recipe for a long-lasting and loving marriage. Feeling emotionally safe is the foundation of a strong and healthy marriage. When you don’t feel safe, you can’t express your feelings and opinions. Learn how to identify whether you are in an abusive relationship. If you feel you always have to monitor what you say, if you are with someone and you feel you can’t really express yourself and are always walking on eggshells, then it’s very likely you are in an abusive relationship. Look for the following things:
Controlling behavior: This includes controlling the way you act, the way you think, the way you dress, the way you wear your hair/hijab and the way you spend your time. Know the difference between suggestions and demands. Demands are an expression of control and if the demands are implied, than you must do it or there will be consequences. All of these are clear indications of abusive personalities.
Anger issues: This is someone who raises their voice on a regular basis, who is angry, gets angry at you, uses anger against you, uses put downs, and curses at you, etc. You don’t have to put up with this type of treatment. Many people who tolerate this behavior usually come from abusive backgrounds. If this is the case with you or someone you know, get help right away. Deal with those issues before getting married or before even thinking about getting married.
8) Beware of Lack of Openness In Your Partner: Many couples make the mistake of not putting everything on the table for discussion from the onset. Ask yourself, “What do I need to know to be absolutely certain I want to marry this person?” “What bothers me about this person or the relationship?” It’s very important to identify what’s bothering you, things that concern you, and things you are afraid to bring up for discussion. Then you must have an honest discussion about them. This is a great way to test the strength of your relationship. Bringing up issues when there’s conflict is a great opportunity to really evaluate how well you communicate, negotiate, and work together as a team. When people get into power struggles and blame each other, it’s an indication they don’t work well as a team. Also important is being vulnerable around each other. Ask deep questions of each other and see how your partner responds. How do they handle it? Are they defensive? Do they attack? Do they withdraw? Do they get annoyed? Do they blame you? Do they ignore it? Do they hide or rationalize it? Don’t just listen to what they say but watch for how they say it!
9) Beware of Avoiding Personal Responsibility: It’s very important to remember no one else is responsible for your happiness. Many people make the mistake of thinking someone else will fulfill them and make their life better and that’s their reason for getting married. People fail to realize that if they are unhappy as a single person, they will continue to be miserable when they are married. If you are currently not happy with yourself, don’t like yourself, don’t like the direction your life is going now, it’s important to take responsibility for that now and work on improving those areas of your life before considering marriage. Don’t bring these issues into your marriage and hope your partner will fix them.
10) Watch Out For Lack of Emotional Health and Availability In Your Potential Partner: Many people choose partners that are not emotionally healthy or available. One huge problem is when a partner is unable to balance the emotional ties to family members, the marriage ends up having 3 (or more) people in it rather than two. An example of this would be if a man is overly dependent on his mother and brings that relationship into the marriage; this is no doubt a recipe for disaster. Also important to consider are the following:
Avoid people who are emotionally empty inside. These include people who don’t like themselves because they lack the ability to be emotionally available. They are always preoccupied with their deficiencies, insecurities, and negative thoughts. They are in a perpetual fight with depression, never feel good, are isolated, are critical and judgmental; tend to not have any close friends, and often distrust people or are afraid of them. Another clear indication about them is they always feel their needs are not getting met; they have a sense of entitlement and feel angry when they feel people should take care of them and they don’t. They feel burdened by other people’s needs and feel resentment towards them. These people can not be emotionally available to build healthy relationships.
Addictions can also limit the level of availability of the partner to build a strong emotional relationship. Never marry an addict. Addictions are not limited to drugs and alcohol. They can be about addictions and dependency on work, internet, hobbies, sports, shopping, money, power, status, materialism, etc. When someone has an addiction, they will not and can not be emotionally available to develop an intimate relationship with you!
Additional Points to Consider:
The fact is no one looks 25 forever. Ultimately, we love the person we marry for more than their appearance. When we get to know someone we love and admire, we’ll love them for their inner beauty and overall essence.
Once we find someone, we consciously or subconsciously want so badly for it all to work that we decide not to question or see what is clearly in front of our eyes: they were rude to the waiter, speaks ill of others, is rude to you, etc. We don’t stop to ask, “What does all of this mean about their character?”
Never separate someone from their family, background, education, belief system, etc. Asking clear questions can clarify this. Ask questions like, “What does it mean to have a simple lifestyle?” “What are your expectations of marriage?” “How would you help around the house?” Compare your definition with theirs. Be flexible. Be open-minded!
Giving in a happy marriage should not be confused with martyrdom. It should be about taking pleasure and seeing the other person as happy because of your connection with them.
Morality and spirituality are the qualities that truly define someone in addition to beauty, money, and health. The morally upright and spiritual person will stand by your side during adversity and hardship. If someone isn’t God-conscience and doesn’t take themselves into account with God then why should you expect them to fulfill their rights owed to you? The ideal partner is someone who considers giving a gain and not causing a loss. Having a mutual and shared spiritual relationship will foster a successful marriage. Furthermore, a successful marriage is one that keeps the laws of family purity which require a certain degree of self-control and self-discipline, as well as the belief that the physical side of the relationship includes the spiritual and emotional side as well. Finding commonality and balance between the spiritual and emotional aspects of a relationship is a strong key to a healthy and thriving marriage. [by Dr. Nafisa Sekandari & Hosai Mojaddidi]
The above article was [in part] inspired by and adapted from a presentation by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.
Trust Allah
You cannot force people to love you, nor make them stay close to you. You can love them, respect them, and hope they come back.
Allah is in full control. Nothing happens without his permission, and not a leaf falls, but he has a clear record! Truly if Allah wills, it will happen!
source : http://islamic-quotes.blogspot.com
Cari Pasangan Yang Boleh Membahagiakan Kamu!
Dipetik daripada Album :Photos of Ustaz Azhar Idrus
( Original )
Lucu tapi penuh makna...
Kalau dapat yg comel /hensomm tu kira bonuslah... yg penting yg beragama/beriman/pengasih/pemurah dan penyayang...
Lucu tapi penuh makna...
Kalau dapat yg comel /hensomm tu kira bonuslah... yg penting yg beragama/beriman/pengasih/pemurah dan penyayang...
Amin ya rabb...
Friday, January 06, 2012
Feeling Like A Queen
Tak putus-putus menerima ucapan hari jadi sejak semalam
Hari ini pula my BFF (Best Friend Forever)
telah belanja makan tengahari di Restoren Thai, di Kuching ini
dengan masakan yang istimewa...
Sementara makan malam pula bersama My BFF juga menikmati masakan Jepun...TQ Allah
Siang sebelumnya pampared myself with 2 hours massage diikuti dengan 1 jam facial dan malamnya telah diraikan dengan makan malam seafood oleh rakan-rakan di Top Spot Kuching dan semestinya ada masakan kegemaranku, Oyster Egg yang sangat sedappp... Love it!
Syukur dan syukur kerana rezeki melimpah ruah serta dianugerahkan keluarga dan kawan-kawan yang penyayang dan amat mengambil berat serta membuatku terasa sangat istimewa . Aku memang terasa dilayan like a Queen di Hari Jadiku. TQ Allah...
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Thank YOU so much for the birthday wishes everyone!
Kau membuat diri ini terasa disayangi
Kau membuat diri ini terasa dikasihi
Kau membuat diri ini terasa diingati
Kau membuat diri ini terasa dirindui
Kau membuat diri ini terasa diminati
Kau membuat diri ini terasa dicintai
Kau membuat diri ini terasa dihargai
dan kau membuat diri ini
terasa berharga dan bahagia
Terima kasih semua...
Salam sayang,
Noorma Mckelate
4 Jan 2012
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Puisi C itu Cinta oleh Noorma Mckelate
C itu Cinta
terlalu indah untuk dilukiskan
sebuah rasa yang membara di jiwa
C itu Cinta
bermula daripada pandangan mata
menyentuk sukma
C itu cinta
bermula detik-detik rindu
dalam gelora perasaan
takut kecundang
C itu Cinta
membawa resah rindu
tiada batasnya
C itu Cinta
satu penyerahan suci
dan abadi
Noorma Mckelate
4 Jan 2012
4.16pm
Kota Samarahan
Sarawak
Selamat Ulang Tahun Sayang
Terima kasih kepada insan yang mengirimkan lagu ini lewat emel sempena hari jadiku.
Hatiku tersentuh dan airmataku menitis di hari jadiku...
Masjidil Haram Makin Canggih
Bertuahlah tetamu-tetamu Allah yang dijemput menunaikan haji dan umrah pada masa hadapan.
Syukur dan terima kasih Ya Allah atas nikmatMu ini
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
Doa Di Hari Jadi Noorma Mckelate 4 Jan 2012
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...
Dengan nama Allah yang pengasih dan penyayang...
Hari berganti hari
Tahun berganti tahun...
4 Januari ...
Hari lahirku datang lagi
Tiada lain yang dapat kukatakan
Melainkan rasa kesyukuranku padaMu Ya Allah
Kau telah memanjangkan usiaku
Kau telah memberikanku rezeki yang melimpah-ruah
Kau berikanku keluarga yang penyayang
Kau berikanku saudara-mara dan handai taulan yang prihatin
Kau telah memberikanku kesihatan
Kau telah memberikanku hadiah yang amat berharga
Kau telah menerangi hati dan jiwaku semasa dalam kegelapan
Kau telah memberikanku kebahagiaan disebalik duka dan kekecewaan
Kau telah memberikanku nikmat kasih sayang yang suci dan murni
Kau telah menunjukkan jalan pada setiap cubaan dan dugaan
Kau juga telah memberikanku anugerah bakat dan ilham
Kau telah memberikan kemuliaan dan kekayaan
dengan menjadikan insan hina dan penuh dosa
ini menjadi tetamuMu yang istimewa,
dengan kenangan paling indah serta penyucian jiwa
Kau memberikan segala-segalanya
yang tidak terbalas oleh hambaMu yang kerdil dan hina ini.
Sesungguhnya terlalu banyak yang telah Engkau berikan kepadaku.
Sedangkan amalan, ingatan dan pengabdianku terlalu sedikit terhadapMu
Ya Allah, aku insan yang tidak sempurna
Namun kau terimalah aku dalam ketidak sempurnaan ini
Kasihanilah aku Ya Allah, yang maha pengasih dan penyayang
Bimbinglah aku agar dekat pada jalanMu yang benar
Tanamkan rasa kesyukuran, ikhlas dan redha pada diriku
Terhadap ketentuan dan takdirMu
dan andainya aku tiada lagi di dunia ini
Ampunilah segala dosaku Ya Allah
Dan tempatkanlah aku di dalam syurgaMu
Kerana aku sangat takut kepada azab di nerakaMu
Noorma Mckelate
4 Jan 2012
Kota Samarahan
Sarawak
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